I had a rather interesting conversation with a reasonably close friend the other day.
I can't really remember how it started but at one point, presumably in response to something I'd said [ or maybe just some errant thought -I don't know ] she said
"If the things that have happened to you, had happened to me, I'm not sure that I could accept it "
now y'see, I couldn't count how many people over the years have asked 'how do you cope?' or just made the statement that they couldn't - cope that is. Sometimes they're talking about David ... sometimes about my husband's death... sometimes about my health. Usually I just give back some facile answer along the lines of " you cope because you have to"
this was a church-going friend talking about Acceptance with a capital A - a different thing altogether from 'coping' [ which at one point, when David was a lot younger, was the single word in the English language which I most loathed because I heard it so often ... but I'm drifting off on a tangent. Must stop. Must get back to the point ]
anyhoo, as the end of this year is nearly upon us, I've been thinking about her comment
Certainly there are things that have happened in my life - as in everyone's - that are not as I would have had them be
some of those things I could do something about
some of them not
but I can, to a certain extent, determine how I react to those issues.
I'm not altogether sure that I do accept them - capitalised or not - certainly not in the sense of believing stuff to be preordained in some fixed and immutable way.
What I do accept is that stuff happens and you try to deal with it.
It's not necessarily fair.
You don't have to like it,
you do get to choose whether you keep moving, or just curse the universe for its perversity while you stay bogged down in misery for the rest of your life.
The way I see it, you can either spend your time wailing " why me?" or asking yourself " why not me? Why should I be immune to what life brings?"
anyone care to weigh in ?
... and I think I'll leave you with my all time favourite quote. Don't know who said it originally, but it resonates with me:
'Bout the only difference between a stepping stone and a stumbling block is in the way that you use them !"