Thursday, December 17, 2009

an emotionally charged day

Ask almost anyone with a birthday that falls in December, and they'll probably have a few words to say about the general unfairness of birthdays near Christmas - overlooked, barely acknowledged, or missed entirely
[ Marc's most famous effort was to completely forget my 30th birthday - which meant that the kids did too - and he was only reminded that evening when we went to a Christmas party and someone wished me many happy returns ! ]
In my case it gets a little more complicated because my beloved of 25 years passed away on my natal day in 1999

... which means that people are often unsure how to handle the day, and to be perfectly honest, I'm unsure how to handle the day a lot of the time. Most years I do manage to still feel as though it's my birthday but it's never completely without some shadows, and self-evidently, I do still feel a compelling need to mention it.

and that was yesterday

it was - for the most part - not a particularly good day this year. Usually I can count on a friend or two to meet me for a coffee, or lunch or some such but everyone was working [ and yes, Marcie, I know I should've rung you ]
There were no early morning phone calls
... and it was bloody HOT: 40C / 104F [ feel free to insert rude thoughts about those A/C guys here ]

What kept me going was
a] some retail therapy in the form of a floaty purple sundress
b] the prospect of a Christmas BBQ pool party for dinner - and a good sing - with the other members of the Peace Choir. I'd promised that Dave and I would be there, so that was where we went.
and somewhat predictably
It was just what was needed:
truly fabulous and eclectic house set on a heavily treed and very private bush block within 3 minutes of the town centre
great company [ Albert under the hat, Jacinta, Robyn and Marlene ]
good food
good music[ Jane and James ]

and we only managed to prise David out of the pool with the promise of chargrilled bits of cow!


Rose Red said...

I think David had the right idea about the pool...

I do wish I could sing, rather than being completely tone deaf, I really think there must be something very healing and uplifting about singing with a group of like minded people. I'm glad you had a good end to a flat day. And gee, will those AC guys turn up already!

Anne-Marie said...

I understand about the birthdays. Both of my kids were born in December. My son's is today and I will email, text and call him today. But he is in the middle of exams. I usually try to give them both separate Christmas gifts, but what he wants this year is very expensive, so it will be combined with birthday.

Anonymous said...

It looks like SO much fun. I'm there with David in the hot, hot weather. But right now we are under 14 inches of snow and far from melting.

My mother's 84th birthday was yesterday. Her mother passed on her birthday and so I know a bit of what you speak. There's always shadows for her as well.

Merry, Merry! and I hope the a/c guys get there.

sue said...

I think those A/C guys had better do the airconditioning for free by the time they arrive to do it! I am so glad that your day turned out nicely, so belated Happy Birthday! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas too.

ozjane said...

Belated Happy Birthday..May the new year contain more blessings than frustrations or sadness and may those miserable air con men come quickly or get boils in bad places.

Anonymous said...

A belated birthday wish. I would be in agreeance with David. Stay in the pool.
Unsure about Dec birthdays; mine is in Nov and I had the same problem.

Sheepish Annie said...

Birthdays are awkward events sometimes. I never know whether mine is a good thing or a bad thing. But I wish you a belated happy one! I also wish for you the arrival of a/c guys because this is getting ridiculous!!!

Linda Mullen said...

Yup I can related with my wedding anniversary. My best friend and sister died on my special day, so although it still is my special day, there is still a twinge of sadness there as we will never grow old together, she never saw any of her kids get married or have children..

I try and focus more on the **my day** part but it's still hard. Not a day goes by without me thinking of her as I'm sure you still think of Mark.

PS my birthday is in summer, well my summer and it does have it's disadvantages that if it's something expensive that I wanted, odds are I won't get it because my birthday is in June and too far to combine the two..