yesterday

Some of you already know that yesterday was something other than just my Natal Day.
It was also the 9th anniversary of the day my sweety lost his long battle with cancer.

Nine years is a long time
and not

I still miss him every day, but not with the fierce pain of the first few years.
and although I will admit to feeling weepy last week, I'm okay with allowing myself to enjoy my birthday

that has a lot to do with the people that I have in my life.

- Nadie who always tries to be with me on that day [ and let's not forget that it's a tough day for her too ]
- The Boy who spent half the afternoon on two trains to get up here late Monday, knowing that he'd have to head back the next morning but did it anyway
- my friends Robyn and Jeanette who took me out for lunch after Nadie and Chris left
and
- my other friend Karen, who ever so casually announced that last night might be a good one to bring David out to see her Christmas lights/ decorations ... and then had nibblies-and-libations and Christmas cheer laid on in abundance once we got there to make sure that we stayed a while.

There were phone calls
There were emails
There were cards

I do know that I am very blessed in my friends

and now I suppose I'd better show you the pressies, eh ??

- books from David [ two more of Jim Butcher's Dresden Files ]
- and more books from Nadie and The Boy [ three Discworlds, so that I now have the first 26 in the set] plus a bottle of a certain cream based liqueur
-there was yarn from my knitting buddy Jeanette - luscious Collinette Jitterbug sock yarn
- this beautiful pendant from Robyn which came in the sweet little silver box
and then
- this teeny cat keyring from Karen who knew full well that it would get hung with the cat Chrissy ornaments. That's why I got it for my birthday rather than Christmas - so that I could enjoy it for an extra 9 days.
and a pin from friend Terry in Melbourne [ blue and cats - nothing more needs to be said really ]

Sometimes people have asked why I put so much time and effort into the Christmas decorating. Well, now you know a large part of the reason behind it.
It's a quite concious coping mechanism at a time of the year when it could be very easy to let things get the better of me

I had no choice in what happened to Marc, but I can choose how I will continue on and I would like the think that he would approve of the choices I've made for myself and for David


and the Christmas spirit will be back in residence tomorrow